been gone so long....

i took a breif absence, not that i haven't been jotting down happenings and thoughts in my journal, but i need to remind myself to come here and update!!

avelina's first birthday has just passed and i have been stricken w/ a sense of sadness due to how quickly she's grown up. i can remember like it was just yesterday her laying on her playmat and gazing up at the sound of my singing voice.

she was such a tiny peanut and now she's a big girl :)

i am so grateful that i am able to be a stay at home mommy. pedro is a GREAT provider and i am so lucky that we share the same views when it comes to the mom being home w/ the children.

i once met a woman & her baby at the local park. we chatted about this thing and the other a bit and watched as the babies squealed w/ delight over a dog near us. she clapped and smiled & cuddled up to the woman's chest. i then asked,

"how old is your daughter?"
she replied, "oh this is madeline, she is 15 months old and i am her nanny"

it made me so sad that the mommy doesn't get to celebrate these little moments in her life & witness the fun in madeline's discoveries. how many smiles would i have missed if i were at work?

sure, there are days i feel like i want to whine and moan because i can't please her but i remind myself that everything is a phase, and in the next moment she is making me laugh so hard my tummy hurts.